mochi-buni

Alright uhh hi.. the usual updates, MH wise I'm feeling.. normal I guess? I'm not exactly super happy but not feeling terrible, so I'm thankful for that.

On to "the thing" ... yeah, I think I have a love-hate relationship with it. I obviously hate it for what it stands for and what it did to me, but at the same time I feel like it's part of me in a way? Like I've somewhat grown because of it?

I literally feel like a fully different person than who I was back in 2017. Like, I'm just someone else entirely. Also, I feel like this account... isn't even targeted to the same group of people than it was when I first opened it anymore. What I mean is that while everyone (save for immature people) is generally welcome here of course, my content just became... darker? My whole belief back then was "I draw to make others happy", which if memory serves me, I even made a stamp about?? Now it's "I still draw to make others happy mostly, but some of my stuff also represents what I think and feel". Like, I feel like I have to represent stuff and characters how I see them, rather than how everyone else sees them, if it makes sense.

Ofc I still post mostly wholesome stuff, but... it isn't 100% wholesome like it used to be. I hope I'm not letting anyone down by this change. 2017 me would be complaining nonstop about this, since one of the many reasons I opened up this acc was so I could find more people interested in cute and peaceful things, I'm very sorry if this makes anyone else upset.. I really am. If it's any consolation, this change will only involve deviations, as I don't want to RP anything depressing or dark. Am I weird? Absolutely.

I've kind of thought about opening up a new account, but honestly? I don't want to. Like, this feels like home at this point.

I feel like I have to let some things off my shoulders about dramarama too. Like I said, love-hate relationship. There are moments in which I can talk about it, hell even joke about some of the things, and some moments in which even episodes like moac hurt me. As for the kids themselves, of course I still like them. Every single one of them deserved better and to live a normal life. I'm still going to make content of it with my version of the characters, even if it's something that hurt me.

I hope people will be mature and respect my wishes.

Hi everyone, Bonnie here to post my usual update on myself, my MH and things I'm planning to do.

I'll start by giving out a few words about how I'm feeling.. I guess normally right now? This month hasn't been my best due to me unfortunately losing my grandma earlier in February. Now my mom has a lot more time to spend with me, so I've got someone to vent to about what happened back in 2018.

I feel like I am a completely different girl than the one I was back when I signed up for this site in 2017. In some aspects, I feel like I've sort of grown.. like for example, some of my longer-time followers might remember a very old status post I put up before the thing happened, about me being anxious as heck about the day my cat would die, but I've actually managed to move on from that quickly, so I guess if I learned ONE thing from the thing, it's that death exists, and the world is flat-out evil at times, and there's nothing you can do except accept it and move on.

That said, I think that in other aspects, I've gotten a lot worse. Back then, I was a lot more outspoken... okay, I've always been an introverted loser who doesn't like herself, but back then, I wasn't afraid in the slightest to speak my mind about things. Now I feel like a weak mess who's afraid of overstepping her own boundaries... granted, I'm trying to get over this, but the problem IS there, and I feel like it's hindering me. That and the crazy mood swings. I am not joking when I tell you I'd be completely fine one second, then I'd start thinking back, seeing Cody dead everywhere to the point I'd start to have trouble breathing. I've been given a prescription for this, so it shouldn't happen as frequently now, but still, I'm scared of it happening.

On to happier topics, I might reorganize my profile again as well as try to be more open for RPs. As you might have noticed, my interests tend to shift a lot, so I'd focus on a particular fandom/character for a while and then randomly switch. I don't do this on purpose, and I'm sorry if this makes me seem distant. I want to try and maybe interact with all of my fandoms, and post some OC content as well. Speaking of my OCs, I'm here to remind you tthat some of my artwork, especially that centering around Plush or my sona.. can get a little dark or unlike what I usually draw (think sad themes, angst, weapons /no, not in a SH kind of way, think like a pink chainsaw or things of the like/..). Of course, stronger stuff like pastel gore (which will probably be rare anyways since I kind of have an aversion to gore) will be matured, no exceptions made.

Feel free to give me feedback if you want.

Okay so, I'm honestly sick of hiding who I am, what I think and what I like just because I'm too scared of people judging me, so you know what? Screw it, I'm not hiding anything anymore.

-So what, I like Cody from TD. People are allowed to like characters like Courtney or Duncan without being made fun of, so why shouldn't I be the same with Cody? I "need mental help"?*, fine, go get them yourself, lol.

-Yes, I collect merch of my favorite characters. It's "cringy" (lol imagine still using that word in 2023 XD)? Don't like, don't talk, look away.

-You don't like a character I like? Cool, but don't hatespam my drawings of them and don't dm me about how I should change my mind. I don't see myself doing that to people who like characters I hate. It's called an opinion, look into it.

I'm becoming more active on this site, which will pretty much inevitably lead to me posting more about myself- First and last warning: Insulting or harassing me over what I do or what I like, as well as being immature, WILL get you blocked. No exception. I respect all opinions, and I demand MY opinions to be respected, as well. You can take immaturity somewhere else.

I probably sounded extremely abrasive and I'm sorry for it. I didn't mean to vent or rant, I'm just really sick of being insulted for having opinions that aren't hurting anyone, and of keeping quiet about everything. This isn't directed at anyone in particular.

*Yes, that was something I actually got told way back just for saying Cody was cute, lol

Like I said a few posts ago, I really do feel ashamed about all the times I blew up on here.. like, I just went and let my emotions take the lead before typing anything without bothering to do a rationality check, which was really stupid of me to do.

One thing I forgot to mention... I'd sometimes let off steam by bashing on this one character... No, I'm not specifying anything, if you know, you know.

I think I've always made it clear I never meant any harm to any fans or supporters of the character in question, but still.. going and bashing this character like that couldn't have felt nice to all their supporters, so I apologize to anyone who might've felt offended by it.

I'll clarify, I stil don't like this character, I never will like the character, and I have some bad history regarding this character (I've been compared to them a lot and it's just gross imo), my apologies here are NOT for feeling this way about the character, but they're directed at any supporters of the character who I might have offended with my bashing, and for the bashing and acting immature in general... I'll see to it that it never happens again.

I am a huge fan of another character who is very connected with the character I bashed (character I bashed stalked character I'm a fan of for a great amount of their screentime in one season of their source material), and I'm always paranoid of the character I bashed popping up in conversations about the character I'm a fan of, so my solution to that was apparently to bash the character I had a problem with like an immature brat.

My deepest apologies to anyone I might've offended or hurt.

Hello and happy fall to everyone reading this. I was hoping to discuss a few things I plan to do with this page since I barely even come here if not to post.

I kind of miss how lively and fun this site used to be before eclipse, now, between the lack of interactions and boredom, I've kind of grown tired of it.

So am I planning to leave? No, of course not. I'm staying here, and I'll keep posting anything ranging from drawings to aesthetics, like I've always done.

Here are a few things I've been thinking of, if you guys are interested:

You may have noticed I'm not posting as often or as much as I used to, what with both irl stuff,and some commissions I got keeping me busy, but I plan to post more aesthetic stuff, which may or may not contain sadcore/draincore, so be warned of that. However, the heavier things, such as traumacore, or any other content that might otherwise bother anyone WILL be matured. No exceptions made.

As those of you who have been keeping up with me before october 2018 know, I'm not exactly the same person I was in 2017/most of 2018. To keep things brief, things happened, I've been hurt, blah blah... so yes, while 90% of the content is wholesome and all, don't be shocked if you see the occasional sadcore thing. It isn't directed at anyone in particular. I guess since then I've matured and grown used to this being who I am now, and since drawing/edits are a fairly healthy way to cope, I'll just stick with that.

As for the TD style drawings, I'm afraid I'll be discontinuing them for now. I've noticed them being reposted without permission or credit, and I'm honestly not comfortable with that at all.. so I'm afraid these won't be seen for some time, unless you are willing to commission one (or, for close friends only, outright ask me to draw one.)

I'm also thinking to bring back pixels. Remember back in 2017 when I occasionally did those simple little pixels? Yeah, I'm thinking to maybe do some more pixel drawings/simple animations, see what comes out of it, lol.

This one doesn't concern drawing, it's about roleplays, so feel free to just skip this if you don't rp. You might notice I sometimes just go and don't reply to rps.. this is mostly me either forgetting or growing bored, due to say, the rp just having been backed into a corner where it's just the characters talking idly. This is why I've decided that any and all rps with me must first have a story thought out. Like, with cute parts, maybe some shenanigans or things of the like. I also get tired of repetitive rps. Like, if it's the same thing over and over and over again, it mostly loses its charm, to me at least. Please let's plan things out before jumping into a rp.

Feel free to tell me your thoughts :3